I always worry that my loss has had a devastating effect on my kids… And always worry I’m not good enough.

But there are little moments that make you realise you are good enough and your kids know you have suffered a loss and understand who you are.

A simple thing that may have gone unnoticed…..

Today my son (14) came downstairs and gave me a morning hug as always…. Said that I felt cold to his touch… Turned on his heel an fetched me a blanket….

Now that there… A moment….. Don’t ignore them… As these are the moments that tell you, you’ve done good💙💔

It’s true I probably don’t feel like I’m brave enough myself….

But what people see is someone who has less confidence…..more sensitive….needs re-assurance…..

Don’t be fooled wemay not be who we once were…. and we may never be….

But we have strength beyond no other… Strength that made us live after our world fell apart….

Be brave, be bold, be you 💙💔

I know it means nothing to you now right…. Oh why celebrate the day of love when your heart will never be in one piece again…..

Your heart will be one piece again… but with a little bit chipped off….

One thing for sure is that those wanting to spoil you…. Love you! … and love shouldn’t be ignored for we know too well…

A loved one can be lost in a heartbeat….💙💔

Sharing your feelings and thoughts shouldn’t be a taboo… So many of us suffer alone as we feel we can’t share our thoughts…

Be brave be bold and talk…

People talk about their kids all the time… Just because we have angels doesn’t mean their not our ours to talk about…. Talk be proud they are yours 💙💔

I’m not saying write a book, but make notes of the little things your child does/did….. For in grief you forget and become angry at the fact that you can’t remember….

You can remember, your memories haven’t gone…. Its just your mind is so overwhelmed with grief things have got mixed up.

So as something comes into your mind….. Make a note if it…. Get yourself a special little book… And as things come to your mind…. Write them down.

On the really bad days when your mind is playing tricks and your far too overwhelmed to place your memories in order…. Just hold your book and read……. These are your moments….. 💙💔

If someone is mean to you, or says the wrong thing……. Don’t be too harsh on them…

They don’t know what you have experienced…. Nor do we know what they have been through…..

We don’t wear badges explaining what we have experienced, and therefore we treat all equally….. Be nice to each other…….

Everyone has a breaking point…. Don’t be the cause of someone reaching it….. 💙💔

A mother protecting her child is one of the most passionate, caring, fierce moments you will experience…..

This is why us mums who haven’t been able to protect (through no fault of our own) our child find it so difficult to carry on with life after loss.

It was our job to protect, we failed, we weren’t good enough, we didn’t deserve to have our kids….. This is what we think over and over again.

We did everything we could, turn it around we did protect, we were passionate, caring and fierce and….. Somehow now we are fiercer than ever as somehow we battle to continue with our lives having experienced the worst thing possible….

Stay fierce 💙💔

Sometimes you feel like you just don’t belong…..

But you do…. You do belong… You have earned your stripes hold your head up high…. Look around you….

For what you may see is other people feeling the same unearthly pain your feeling….

You are most definitely not alone 💙💔

I had someone say once,… ‘oh what’s wrong with you now’…. Well that’s because I’m open and honest with my feelings…..

If you don’t share your thoughts or problems, they become bigger as you can’t reason with them…..

I did this and resulted in me doing some very serious things…..

I recovered from self harming…. by sharing my thoughts…. You don’t have to stay in the dark keep going there is light….keep talking….

I wear my scars with pride…. This is me 💙💔

The title today pretty much explains where my head is at…… I know my wobble is due to the fear of my exam results tomorrow….

I don’t know what the expectation is and it’s making me sick with worry… I know I did my best…

But I’m not sure if my best is good enough….

You see after 18 years there are some lasting effects…. Particularly in self belief, but I’m determined… This won’t beat me….

Tomorrow can’t come quick enough 💙💔