It’s not perfect…..

No matter how hard you we try, nothing will ever be perfect again. Every occasion has an empty space.. Every perfect day has a cloud…………… Every Christmas tree has fewer presents under the tree

But it may not be perfect, but it’s as perfect as it can be, and the fact that there are occasions, special days, Christmas and everything else is proof that we are living and living the best we can.

You may feel like those moments go unnoticed but they don’t. These days show your your strength…..

Grieving parents have a strength like no other πŸ’ͺπŸ’”πŸ˜”πŸ’™

Happy 14thπŸ’“

My baby girl turned 14 today, I am so proud of the young lady she has become.

I always worried that our bond would be affected due my grieving and being an emotional wreck most of the time. I had real difficulty bonding as I was struggling myself.

But even though the first couple of years were hard she has grown into a confident, funny, beautiful girl.

Truth be told you can either spend your life worrying or get on with living and doing the best you can. Grief changed me but I chose to live and love again. My kids are my world πŸ’“πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’”

Decisions…

It’s hard when you don’t put yourself first, and base the decisions you make on how it will make others feel.

But every now and again, you just have to put yourself first and follow your head and not your heart….sure you may upset some people along the way but if they love you they will understand.

Small shifts towards positivity πŸ’™πŸ’“πŸ’”

Effort….

There were days when even just getting up and dressed was far too much for me… They were my darkest of days.

Im glad I made that effort back then and pushed myself to do things, because if I hadn’t…. I simply wouldn’t have what I have now, nor would I have learned to love and live again. I just wouldn’t be me…. and the new me ain’t that bad.

It took tiny steps and at times I went backwards instead of forwards… Don’t give up you can do this. It doesn’t mean you forget…. Nor will you ever. But each step makes you stronger.

Grieving parents we live we love but we are a little incomplete πŸ’™πŸ’”

A nice day….

Today I met quite a few strangers, and you know sometimes it’s really nice just to be yourself, have fun and be accepted for who you are.

There are some lovely people out there, don’t be afraid to make conversation…. Ask questions.. Or even just a smile and eye contact.

You never know you may just make a difference to the way someone is feeling, it’s way too easy to not realise what’s around you in this busy world. πŸ’™πŸ’”

Resilience….

Following the tragedy of loosing your precious child, you will face obstacles… You will have struggles… You will battle a mind that thinks the worst… These are the effects of loosing your child.

The obstacles will make you climb.. The struggles will make you stronger and thinking the worst makes you appreciate what you have. There will be moments where you feel like the thoughts will come true, that everything is just going to continue going wrong.

Enjoy and cherish each day… You are battling and each day is evidence of your strength. Each day and circumstance will show you that things aren’t always going to be bad. You will learn to live again, you will love again, you will start to smile again.

Resilience will shine through, be proud be you πŸ’™πŸ’”

The right age to be mum….

So the conversation came up again today…

‘my wife was classed as old she was 31 when she had her first child….

I thought hard before saying a word…

‘ I was 21, they all looked at me like I had done something wrong’

I was young far too young to become a grieving mum. At 21 the only thing I saw was the happily ever after, but the reality was very different.

19 years ago I lost my boy, I’m a survivor and I do see the happily ever after with my children, but always with a little cloud and void in my heart πŸ’™πŸ’”