Listen….

Sometimes you have to listen to what others say to you, words of encouragement, appreciation of your efforts, or one I hear quite often…. I don’t know how you do it.

I do it because I found strength in me,

when I accepted what was, and chose to continue life as the new me, not perfect but doing the best I can πŸ’žβ€οΈπŸ’™πŸ’”

Giving something back…

You may have noticed I’ve been quiet lately, this is because I’ve been extremely busy..

I’ve started volunteering for cruse bereavement care, and am undergoing training.

Im doing it because I want to give something back to a service that helped me through my darkest times.

Never be afraid to ask for help πŸ’™πŸ’”

Me before you…..

The problem with facing a tragedy…. Is you lose yourself in the process.

I grieved for my son, but I also grieved the person I was..

Im 41, but the new me is only 19

Why.. Well because that day I became a new person, a person who panics when the kids take a tumble, a person who has a little bit of her heart in heaven, a person that wakes in the night to check on her children, a person who has earned her scars…

But I’m still a person and I have a future ahead of me. There will be dark days, but there will also be sunshine. πŸŒžπŸ’”πŸ’™

Emotions

When thinking of my boy, I can feel so many emotions..

Love, grief, pain, physical aches and so much more

But I can also react with tears, laughter, smiles and sadness.

I only have one wish and that is that this had never happened to me.

But it did…. So I continue on my journey a new person, striving to be the best I can be

Wedding….

We went to a wedding yesterday and had a lovely time. Loads of extra special moments, making memories. Dancing with my eldest kids… I’m embarrassing…. But I don’t careπŸ˜‚They grow up far to quick and the thought of letting them loose in the big wide world scares me so much!!!But my grief and loss cant get in the way of them living their lives, I have guided and supported them and will continue to do so… β€οΈπŸ’™πŸ’”

Taboo

Sharing your feelings and thoughts shouldn’t be a taboo… So many of us suffer alone as we feel we can’t share our thoughts…

Be brave be bold and talk…

People talk about their kids all the time… Just because we have angels doesn’t mean their not our ours to talk about…. Talk be proud they are yours πŸ’™πŸ’”

Blip….

It’s the little things, today it suddenly dawned on me that the new students in uni now were born the same year as my son….

I get on with everyone, the fact I’m 21 years older doesn’t really affect the way I’m treated.

But it makes me wonder about the young man he would have been… My heart bleeds just thinking of him, and the life he has missed out on, and the lasting effect on family and friends.

I know he would have made us proud…. Until we meet again I will continue to make him proudπŸ’™β€οΈπŸ’”