Emotions

When thinking of my boy, I can feel so many emotions..

Love, grief, pain, physical aches and so much more

But I can also react with tears, laughter, smiles and sadness.

I only have one wish and that is that this had never happened to me.

But it did…. So I continue on my journey a new person, striving to be the best I can be

Wedding….

We went to a wedding yesterday and had a lovely time. Loads of extra special moments, making memories. Dancing with my eldest kids… I’m embarrassing…. But I don’t careπŸ˜‚They grow up far to quick and the thought of letting them loose in the big wide world scares me so much!!!But my grief and loss cant get in the way of them living their lives, I have guided and supported them and will continue to do so… β€οΈπŸ’™πŸ’”

Taboo

Sharing your feelings and thoughts shouldn’t be a taboo… So many of us suffer alone as we feel we can’t share our thoughts…

Be brave be bold and talk…

People talk about their kids all the time… Just because we have angels doesn’t mean their not our ours to talk about…. Talk be proud they are yours πŸ’™πŸ’”

Blip….

It’s the little things, today it suddenly dawned on me that the new students in uni now were born the same year as my son….

I get on with everyone, the fact I’m 21 years older doesn’t really affect the way I’m treated.

But it makes me wonder about the young man he would have been… My heart bleeds just thinking of him, and the life he has missed out on, and the lasting effect on family and friends.

I know he would have made us proud…. Until we meet again I will continue to make him proudπŸ’™β€οΈπŸ’”

What’s your coping mechanism?

I just keep busy. Im a mum, foster mum, university student, part time worker, volunteer and so much more…

There are no rules to grief…. You can feel like doing nothing, you can keep busy or just take life at a steady pace.

I’ve always kept busy, before I lost my boy, but when he was gone I struggled for a long time, and didn’t feel like doing much at all.That’s because so much changed….

I have built my self up from a million pieces, and know although one piece will always be missing, I’m striving to be the best I can be πŸ’™β€οΈπŸ’”

I wish…

I wish sometimes that I could tap on peoples shoulders, and make them realise how precious their moment is.

People don’t always see it, they may even dismiss it or even be stuck on their phone.

I know life is busy, but don’t ever miss opportunities that will make you look back and say…….. I wish I had…… Or… What if…. If only I hadn’t dismissed them when they were trying to tell ne something….. πŸ’™β€οΈπŸ’”

My mission

I have 2 missions:

The first is to show grieving parents that there is life after child loss…..please believe me. I’m 19 years into my journey but I did this through struggle pain and grief just like you, putting one step at a time. You can do this, we are in our way warriors.

The second is to normalise talking about grief. It’s good to talk, it helps us through some if our darkest days. Don’t judge people who share

their stories, instead encourage them to talk.

I gave found I have no filter, I don’t hold back at the worry of being judged. I am who I am live me or hate me πŸ’™πŸ’”