Today we were talking about our childhoods…. It was so nice thinking back to how things were….We didn’t have a lot growing up but we did have food on the table, clothes on our back, a roof over our head and we were loved.I struggles with depression and the grief took over after I lost Owain, and I always worried about the effects on my kids……But yo be honest if they can look back at their life and smile like I did today, then we ain’t done too bad 😁💙💔

I have seen people turn their grief and loss into anger, I’m guilty of doing this myself…..

Just try if you can to take a moment cause your anger can push people away, hurt people, even destroy people as well as yourself…

Express your grief in other ways, write, talk, draw…. Any way you can…but don’t be angry and hurt others and yourself…. Be graceful

💙💔

So as I wait for the final marks for my first year studying business and finance, I reflect on what has been a very challenging year.

I have lost my confidence over the years, and being in the university pushed me to be less socially awkward.

Even though I am fourty the other students treated me equally and I have made a great group of friends..

I worked hard and I hope the exam results will show my efforts.

I also left my job in order to concentrate on university life and have more flexibility by working bank shifts….

I am so proud of my achievements to date…gain strength from your experiences and create positives❤️💙💔

So when I talk as bout my life with new people, I see they feel for me and what I’ve been through.

Some clearly don’t know what to say…. But this week someone responded and recognised how much I do and how busy I am…. And in their kindness…. Their advice….

‘People like you were put on the earth for a reason, I strongly believe your one of those….. Be kind to yourself’. ❤️💙💔

So todays topic was……. If you were a biscuit what would you be….

My answer a chocolate hobnob….

Why?

Because the chocolate holds me together, but break me and I crumble….. 🙈💙❤️

Not only do you have the almighty challenge of living beyond the grief, you have another challenge nobody sees.

This challenge is discovering the new you. You will never be who you were before, a piece of you has left, and what you have faced has changed you.

During this time, I cried, I laughed, I worked, I lived…. But something had changed and that was me. I was called a ‘blubbering mess’….funily enough it didn’t bother me as I knew I was.

I changed my career, I started on a new journey a very different person but still with a little piece missing….. Don’t be afraid to discover the new you….. This is ne 💙💔

1. Grieving has no rules

2. Everyone reacts differently

3. Some won’t physically express any emotion (but they are grieving)

4. You will feel guilty, responsible, angry and much more

5. You will feel like your the only one.. (but your not)

6. You will wish it was you instead of them

7. You will feel alone… But your not

8. Do what’s right for you…. What feels right.

9. Don’t be influenced by others

10. Give yourself time…

💙💔

Tomorrow my two teenagers are going away with their dad for the week.

Omg…. I hate being without them, I worry myself sick if I don’t hear from them…..

I will no matter what think the worst, but I know their dad will look after them and they will have a great time.

So I will just have to keep myself occupied and look forward yo the stories and hugs on their return.

#grievingparentsalwaysworry💙💔

If someone has treated you badly, don’t hold a grudge…It can only hurt you if you let it…. I have let so much hurt touch me when I was weak and lonely. Why??? Because I let it☹️You need to do one of two things, let the person know they hurt… As they may not know… Not yo shout or be bitter but rather to make them aware. Secondly you need to park it up, and forget about it as hurting any more, just isn’t worth it. It only hurts if you let it…. Chuck it in the ‘I don’t give a shit basket’That way you can carry on with your life and enjoy it 😁💙💔

I sit here with the kids eating tea, and I just know I’m so lucky….

I’ve been worrying a lot lately about the everyday things in life, and can honestly say…. Stress really an take over.

So I’ve picked up my colouring book… Its amazing what one hour of just colouring and choosing your colours can do ❤️💙💔