So yesterday wasn’t a good day, but that hasn’t stopped me (nothing specific just wasn’t right and was a bit out of sorts) we all gave them…

So positive pants are on…..

Today is another day, I have a beautiful family, love in my heart and the future awaits 😁👖❤️💔💙

I felt you grow inside me,

Felt every kick and move

Through all the pain and worry

I just wanted you here with me

You entered the world to meet us

Nurses specialists too

They were ready to support you

But there was no needing in you

You were a happy baby boy

You didnt seem to be in pain

Or need any assistance at all

So we started on our journey

And took you to our home

The medicine would keep you safe

Until the doctors saw you again

We settled in to family life

And got into routine

You even smiled at tigger

Before you went away…….

There are moments that you worry that what you have been through has had a negative affect on your children.

Well I can honestly say tonight it’s not the case, and being exposed to emotions can make you relate with others……. I can’t give you the details (cause he wouldn’t be happy) but tonight my 15 year old boy showed me that he is a really thoughtful person, and not in a bad way.

When you feel for other people there is goodness in your heart… Don’t change ❤️💔💙

You have experienced grief, you have changed…. Some things you loved doing before don’t suit you anymore. Things you hated doing may be something you like to do.

There are no rules to grief, so apply trial and error. Try something if its not for you anymore park it up, if it is for you enjoy the experience and add it to your list of likes.

I lost myself and my confidence, where I used to go shopping or out for a drink on my own. This no longer felt right, so I had changed. Now I always go with someone when I can and share the experience ❤️💙💔

It’s exhausting worrying about everything…You see sometimes something happens and that’s it your mind goes into overdrive.. You think all sorts… the most horrible things cross my mind.

More tiring still is controlling those feelings, cause I know that it’s my experience of waking up to my son having passed away, that have made me think like this. Acceptance of my thoughts is key to learning to live again. 💙💔

Change was something that scared me after I lost the little man. I didn’t like it, and didn’t adapt well. I think it was probably due too the huge changes I had faced after he passed away.Over the years, I have hated, resented, avoided, embraced, loved change….With change comes experience, new people, love, happiness, opportunity and so much more, not all good sometimes, but not all bad either.Change shows your living, your adapting and changing just like the seasons… ❤️💙💔

https://lifeafterchildloss.blog/2019/01/02/someone-knows-you-from-somewhere/

As I sat tonight having my hair dried by my girl…. The conversation flowing I realised my girl had become a young lady. My boy has become a young man, me I’m a little older and stronger….

I chose to push through the darkness and now I see light. They make me so proud, every day…. I only hope one day that they will be proud of me as their mum who battled through grief 💔💙

As I sit in here enjoying a lazy Sunday, I worry about all the things that still need doing in the house.

We have made huge changes to our home over the last year, but downstairs is untouched, and desperately needs doing.

But right now to be honest, I would rather concentrate on doing little things, and spending time with my family.

We will be stuck indoors all winter, the house will wait till then….. 🏡❤️💔💙

I hear you, but truth is, there are times when I’m kind to myself but it gives, me too much time to think.We all know there are times when you have to keep busy, and times when you really need a break….Do what feels right only you know what’s best for you 💙💔