Does the fact that you cried day in day out, for weeks, months, years, mean you are depressed….

I’m not sure…. I think it was the biggest loss I ever faced…. Surely the fact that I cried so much showed I was going through the natural grieving process.

But on many occasion I was given anti depressants….. But all I needed was for someone to say what I was feeling, was totally normal…part of the trauma of loosing my one and only son at the time.

Don’t be too hasty to take the pills, crying is normal, you need to grieve…. and run through the emotions 💙💔

You may capture a glimpse of a parent and child doing the simplest of things and just smile and admire or even feel sad……

This is because you know more than them probably, how precious their moment is….

They are the moments we want…..its natural to admire, absorb, or even feel jealous…..

For we aren’t as fortunate as those standing in front of us 💙💔

I was 21 when I had my little boy…. I felt ready was happy and ready to make a family…..

But I wasn’t old enough to deal with what was facing me…. Loosing him so soon… 💙💔

But then is there a right age?….. It scares me when i see very young pregnant ladies …. It scares me as the only aspect we think of is the positive side, the young child that we will hold in our arms…. But the reality is it can be so different tragically different…..

If there’s one thing in this world I could change, it would be that no. Child would pass away before their parent… Cause it just ain’t right 💙💔

Between the the loss and the funeral… You see so many people….. More than you could ever think about…. Its like a overwhelming tsunami of people… I don’t mean any offence in what I’m saying as I know these are all people who care….

But then the funeral passes and normal service resumes….. you would do anything to get that tsunami back….

You think to yourself, where is everyone?

How can they just go back to work and carry on with their lives..

It’s because its the norm, this is life continuing….. It doesn’t mean they have forgotten about you… It just means they have responsibilities to and a family to keep…

But I ask this should we be limited to a number of days when grieving 3-5days for a loss of a family member?

I know you can go to the doctors and get time off….. but why in the worst time of our life should we have to worry about such matters….

Grieving takes time…. Its different for everyone 💙💔

You may feel like shutting down in the fear of hurting more….

Please don’t do it continue with your feelings, emotions, ups and downs, new and old….

Turning off your emotions only delays the grieving process….

You need to laugh, scream, cry get angry, love…… As this is what leads you to continue on your journey to finding the new you or a slightly different version of the old you💙💔

I always worry that my loss has had a devastating effect on my kids… And always worry I’m not good enough.

But there are little moments that make you realise you are good enough and your kids know you have suffered a loss and understand who you are.

A simple thing that may have gone unnoticed…..

Today my son (14) came downstairs and gave me a morning hug as always…. Said that I felt cold to his touch… Turned on his heel an fetched me a blanket….

Now that there… A moment….. Don’t ignore them… As these are the moments that tell you, you’ve done good💙💔

It’s true I probably don’t feel like I’m brave enough myself….

But what people see is someone who has less confidence…..more sensitive….needs re-assurance…..

Don’t be fooled wemay not be who we once were…. and we may never be….

But we have strength beyond no other… Strength that made us live after our world fell apart….

Be brave, be bold, be you 💙💔

I know it means nothing to you now right…. Oh why celebrate the day of love when your heart will never be in one piece again…..

Your heart will be one piece again… but with a little bit chipped off….

One thing for sure is that those wanting to spoil you…. Love you! … and love shouldn’t be ignored for we know too well…

A loved one can be lost in a heartbeat….💙💔

Sharing your feelings and thoughts shouldn’t be a taboo… So many of us suffer alone as we feel we can’t share our thoughts…

Be brave be bold and talk…

People talk about their kids all the time… Just because we have angels doesn’t mean their not our ours to talk about…. Talk be proud they are yours 💙💔

I’m not saying write a book, but make notes of the little things your child does/did….. For in grief you forget and become angry at the fact that you can’t remember….

You can remember, your memories haven’t gone…. Its just your mind is so overwhelmed with grief things have got mixed up.

So as something comes into your mind….. Make a note if it…. Get yourself a special little book… And as things come to your mind…. Write them down.

On the really bad days when your mind is playing tricks and your far too overwhelmed to place your memories in order…. Just hold your book and read……. These are your moments….. 💙💔