I go about my plans just like everyone else. Shopping, food, presents, then the longest time finding the right thing to place on his headstone. Nothing ever feels enough, but I know everything is placed with thought and love behind it.

20 years on and christmas still feels hard, but I do everything I do for my family. I have 3 children who deserve a special Christmas and without fail they get it.

There are moments of sadness of course, moments I sit and ponder over the fact that I should be watching 4 kids open their presents, and my stomach feels sick when we place the santa sacks in the lounge. Just 3 šŸ’”

He is with me every day in my heart and soul, nothing can take that away from me.

Love is endless, I didn’t believe it but now.

Don’t beat yourself up for being tearful or not wanting Christmas at all. Do what’s right for you. After all you have to do what’s right for you, because it’s you here living through your loss. ā¤ļøšŸ’™šŸ’”


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