Sorry I’m Busy??

Sometimes I really am not busy….

Sometimes I haven’t got things to do..

Sometimes I quite simply don’t want to….

Do the things you want me to do.

I might just want to sit here…..

and rationalise my thoughts…

Put my mind in order…

Or just do nothing of course…

Please don’t be angry…

Don’t give up on me…….

For tomorrow I may not be busy…

And wish for your company 💙💕💔

Today was the day….

Today marked my graduation, and what a lovely day it was. Glad my children were there with me, I wish my eldest was there with me too 💙.

Im so proud of who I am today. I lost myself 19 years ago when I lost Owain, and I could easily have taken the wrong path.

Instead I turned a corner turned grief into strength and started living again.

Today I graduated at the age of 40….Don’t let grief define you….Stay strong, my life experiences made me who I am today. 💙💔

Big hugs….

Today hasn’t been the best of days, but we have to take the good with the bad and the ugly… That’s what makes us appreciate precious moments even more….

So because today I feel like I need a huge hug…. I’m offering you all love and hugs too. Strength in numbers share the love 💕💔💙

Everything is more precious….

It’s true what they say, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.

So many of us are guilty of not appreciating what we have, but when you have been through loosing your own child, there are moments that make your heart melt.

Really simple moments that you cherish, we had a lovely family day out today. But in the midst of everything, I noticed this and snapped it…..

This is my 13 and 15 year old playing cards during a day out to pass some time = precious moments 💙💔💕

I struggle with my confidence…

Is it because I lost a child?… One could argue yes or no…

I am a new person now, not the old me and I have a piece missing inside… This could cause it… I am an emotional eater, this doesn’t help!

Truth is I don’t know who I am anymore, social interaction doesn’t suit me, as I get anxious. I struggle with my thoughts, but I can’t just lock myself away forever, so instead I throw myself into life, family, work and education to push myself to feel, laugh, cry, love be scared and awaken all my emotions. The easy option would be to hide away.

Tonight’s down time……. 💔💙💓

Relationships…..

Through life you experience different situations with different people. Some things you will never experience again such as grief, loss of a loved one…

You may separate, grow apart or even split during grief…. Wherever possible try and maintain any relationships, family links, friendships…. Cause there will be moments in life when you just want to speak to a person who went through it with you, the only person who understands….

Of course there are other people that have lost a child, a relative, parent, sibling or anyone close, but your experience is unique to those who went through it with you.

Together you will find strength.

Im lucky to have maintained friendships…. And I wouldn’t be without my extended family past and present 💙💔💓

My life is far from over…

I had moments when I thought my life was over, but the results of my 1st year in university, are in….i still have one exam to do but so far I have passed!!

My graduation for the project mangement I completed last year is next Wednesday!!!! Exciting!

I have changed career since I lost my boy 19 years ago and went from hospitality and catering to admin, but I have remained determined and developed and taken any opportunity I could to improve myself.

I am proud of everything I have achieved, despite my experiences…. 💔💙👩‍🎓