There are days when I think I use every possible emotion.
It really is the little things, the little arms around your neck and the almost words ‘I love you’. The older children and their kind caring ways.
Yes I know seems too perfect, and at times it is. We have flying hormones and moments where everything is just too much. I will sob for moment and wonder why everything goes wrong.
But I am mum and I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t, so I grit my teeth pull myself together and carry on.
Then I end the day watching instant family. Well I cried and laughed, I never thought I would be in the same situation (well almost the same) but I love my kids 2 teenagers, one toddler whom I am guardian to and my angel boy in heaven.
My anxiety has been uncontrollable over the last few weeks. I appreciate the simpler things in life and have been cautious since the pandemic began. The only real difference was working and studying from home and no outing on the weekend.
I was always extremely anxious about the pandemic, and got upset at the people who just didn’t care and carried on regardless.
But then my world came crashing in when 2 from our household tested positive. I can’t tell you the anxiety I have felt. But as we come to the end of the isolation period not fully recovered, and some way to go. I am thankful we have got through it.
You see its really hard to rationalise when you have come close to or have lost someone dear to you. I have had so many nightmares these last 2 weeks reliving the tragic loss I faced nearly 21 years ago. And worryk g it would happen again.
Please be careful, stay home, stay safe. My heart goes out to everyone who has lost someone during this pandemic. We are lucky and I appreciate everyone who has supported us, sent messages over the last few weeks. ❤️