Through life you experience different situations with different people. Some things you will never experience again such as grief, loss of a loved one…

You may separate, grow apart or even split during grief…. Wherever possible try and maintain any relationships, family links, friendships…. Cause there will be moments in life when you just want to speak to a person who went through it with you, the only person who understands….

Of course there are other people that have lost a child, a relative, parent, sibling or anyone close, but your experience is unique to those who went through it with you.

Together you will find strength.

Im lucky to have maintained friendships…. And I wouldn’t be without my extended family past and present 💙💔💓

I had moments when I thought my life was over, but the results of my 1st year in university, are in….i still have one exam to do but so far I have passed!!

My graduation for the project mangement I completed last year is next Wednesday!!!! Exciting!

I have changed career since I lost my boy 19 years ago and went from hospitality and catering to admin, but I have remained determined and developed and taken any opportunity I could to improve myself.

I am proud of everything I have achieved, despite my experiences…. 💔💙👩‍🎓

So my niece had her 18th birthday on the weekend and we all had a fabulous time. We all dressed up in Disney outfits as per her request.I remember the day my sister came to tell me she was pregnant…. I was so happy for her, and all I wanted was for her to have a healthy happy baby after the tragedy I had faced the year before 💙💔My niece brought sunshine to my darkest days, and she made me learn how to live again. I lived spending time with her and spoiling her rotten.As she blew out the candles on her birthday cake made by me, an overwhelming heartache came over me, when I realised I never saw my boy reach his milestone birthdays.But I’m so lucky to have my niece’s, nephews, and children who I am so proud of every day and love with all my heart 💙💔

So tonight I am away from home, not able to kiss my children goodnight.

I hate being away from them, but I also know it’s good for them and for me…. As they grow older they will become independent and I won’t be able to reach out to hold them tight and kiss them goodnight.

But I hope they will always know no matter how far away they are, that I love them with all my heart 💓💔💙

It takes me time to adjust every day…. Not because of anything specific but because I once lost myself, and to be comfortable I need time to adjust to my surroundings.

People have had years to accept who they are, and I know we all have hangups, but 19 years ago I became a whole new imperfect person .

I can honestly say I had at least 5-6years where I just scraped by just about managing to function.

By today I have embraced the new me, imperfect, broken, sensitive, lost sole….. If there was a name for someone who has lost a child it would incorporate all these things… 💓💙💔😔

This week has been one of those brave face kinda weeks. Really not myself at the moment, I have been seeking peace in long drives and time alone.

I have wondered if the daily battle is worth it, if there is sunshine at the end of this storm….

Do you know what, its OK to feel like this because after all I am only human, even the strongest people have to battle.

I will continue to be strong and love with all my heart💓💙💔

The beauty of the mind is that nobody knows what your thinking……

But if its a bad feeling get it out there as they can build and weigh you down.. And as they say a problem shared is a problem halved.

Today as we all sat down for tea I took a minute while everyone was tucking in, to appreciate how lucky I am, I didn’t say a word I just took it all in… Although I have faced the unimaginable I am, and always will be lucky to have my family 💓💙💔

What is happiness….?

There is something that makes you happy…. My children, family and home give me happiness…..

But my inner happiness is achieved when I go for a drive, or even sit in the car looking at some lovely scenery or watching the world go by listening to the rain.

It’s important you find the things that help you clear your mind, find your inner peace 💔💙💓

Don’t feel sorry for me….. Respect who I am

Don’t cry for me….. Smile with me

Don’t try and spare my feelings…… Tell me everything

The one thing a grieving person wants is to be treated normally, they already feel like they are different like they are the only one… Like the now have a label.

Just surround them with love, be normal, and talk… Communication is key. Nobody should feel alone in their grief 💙💔

I still have crap days, and I totally fail at times to realise how much I am loved as well as how much love I have to give.Loss makes you question all feelings, kindness, relationships and so much more….Im far from perfect, but I will cross oceans for my loved ones…. Its just a shame that there are people in the world that will use me with blatant disregard for my feelings.But love conquers all and I have love in my life… Love my family 💙💔