You’ve experienced the worst thing possible, and you wish you were stronger…. Really?

You are strong, you’re the strongest you have ever been if only you could see it. The strength of a grieving parent is a strength beyond no other…

Make this your motivation for life…. You are unstoppable, you’ve experienced the worst… The positive to that is that it can’t get any worse…. No future challenge will be as bad…. You can face anything this world throws at you…… 💙💔

I was asked today by a friend if the blog made me feel better….

This isn’t for me, I remember googling silly things to look for help after loosing my precious boy…

It feels like your alone….

But I assure you its shocking how many parents have gone through what we have been through…. But your not alone.

If this blogs helps ond person then this blog will have been worthwhile…… That itself will make me feel better 💙💔

You’ve heard it all………

Give it time…

Things will get better….

Times a great healer…..

If your starting on your journey you will think no… Never….. As if…… I thought that too.

I promise you this….

Give it time as you will slowly find new ways of dealing with you loss…

Things will get better, yes if you allow it too, don’t feel bad for being happy and rebuilding your life… Have no regrets.

Times a great healer…. No you are the healer when you feel like building yourself back up do it… Brick by brick one step at a time embrace the new you…. 💙💔

You just want someone to love you…..

I know I felt the same…. Although I had people who loved me it wasn’t enough…. What I wanted was the impossible… The love of the boy I had lost.

So you continue on your journey numb to the love around you on a quest to be loved….. And what a quest it was!

So you find someone who cares for you, holds you, supports you while you build yourself back together again…. But there’s still a missing piece.

This missing piece isn’t ever found however all the other pieces hold you together, acceptance of the missing piece is your ticket to living 💙💔

Something that hit me when I lost my son was, that I only had a few friends….

At the time I felt so alone….

I had thrown myself into work in the hotel industry and was not one for socialising….

I don’t have many friends these days either, and tend to live my life in my own little bubble..

But the friends I have I cherish and although we don’t see each other every day we know we are there for each other.

It’s not the quantity of friends it’s the quality….. Keep them close 💙💔

I don’t want to go anywhere without my kids….. But every day I go somewhere without my precious boy.

I went to see my niece perform tonight…. I wonder whether her and my boy would have been close. I wonder what would my boy be doing now, what would his interests be…..

I take pride in everything my kids, nieces and nephews do….. they make me smile…they give me love, the pure kind…. Unconditional💙💔

Null and void……. Explains pretty much where I’m at today….. Its been a heavy two weeks with exams in uni work and family life.

It’s my dad’s anniversary today and I just know he is with my baby boy somewhere… Looking after him for me.

Kept myself busy today so that I wasn’t over thinking, this seems to be my go to tactic. Totally moved the furniture in the lounge this afternoon…. Feels better now. 💙💔

So tomorrow marks 9 years since I lost my dad. He sadly passed away due to the horrible illness MS.

My dad was wheelchair bound when i lost my son back in 2000, but insisted on carrying my boy’s tiny coffin . He wrapped his arms around it tight in his wheelchair..

That day he showed true strength, I’ve been proud of my dad all my life, but that day more than ever..

I guess what I’m trying to say is no matter how bad its gets deep down in your soul you have an inner strength, your reserve for those days when you really need it… 💙💔

A lot of people supported me, during very difficult times…..

I made a promise back then that if I could help someone I would. Today’s conversations have re-itterated this.

Helping doesn’t have to be a big thing, it can be the smallest of things…. But I can guarantee you it won’t go unnoticed.

It gives you the helper also something a sense of belonging, a warming in your heart knowing you helped somebody 💙💔

You know today I heard someone speak about not having to suffer negative people in their life…..

You know it’s true when your grieving surround yourself only with those who bring positivity….whether it be through support, love,advice anything….but only the positive.

Excluding the negative people doesn’t mean your being harsh or horrible…it means your strong enough to know you deserve better or you know it’s not what you need at that moment in your life… But stay humble and grounded…….💙💔