The title today pretty much explains where my head is at…… I know my wobble is due to the fear of my exam results tomorrow….

I don’t know what the expectation is and it’s making me sick with worry… I know I did my best…

But I’m not sure if my best is good enough….

You see after 18 years there are some lasting effects…. Particularly in self belief, but I’m determined… This won’t beat me….

Tomorrow can’t come quick enough 💙💔

Don’t beat yourself up for being self conscious, or lacking confidence or feeling your not good enough….

The old you had many years to build these traits….

The new you is hyper sensitised… Your still learning….. Accepting the new you…. This will take time 💙💔

Words can’t describe how proud I am of my kids…..

Yes we argue, they misbehave just like every other child….

But I wouldn’t change them for the world…

I only ever wanted one child…. after loosing my son I thought that was it… but life chose a different path for me and I was gifted 2 more… And they make me proud every day😁

Don’t allow the dark shadow of loosing a child…. determine your future…. cherish every moment, make memories… for these children are here and they need you 💙💔

It’s true to say this is a battle your going through

Sad vs happy

Anger vs love

Hate vs like

Darkness vs light

Fight this battle for at the end there is sunshine with a very special cloud/star in the sky 💙💔

Don’t forget that your family are going through this with you…

They may not understand whole heartedly what your feeling but they have also lost a loved one…..

They are also feeling helpless in the fact that nothing they do can fix this…

Be together seek peace through the love of one another, cause you can’t do this alone, 💙💔

Today I got my certificates through the post…. So proud of myself… Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be a success after tumbling so low.

Set yourself goals start with the little things…. It could be just to get up and dressed in the mornings… Or pop to the shop for a newspaper….

Then as you begin to rebuild your life make your goals bigger…. If I can you can 💙💔

How do you feel so alone…… Well it’s because your numb… You have forgotten who you are…. You’ve lost yourself….

Just because your heart is broken don’t turn your back on love cause now more than ever you need love.

Take a breath, hold your head up and look around you and you will see so much love around you, embrace it, help love, mend your heart 💙💔

Today we had a event at the school, my daughter was meeting me there….

I asked her to sit on the edge with empty seat by the back where I could see her when igot there….

Typical teenager, she did her own thing sat with her mates 😁

In the ten minutes of looking texting and trying not to draw attention to myself….

She had gone…

Someone took her….

I was cold and figity with fear….

Obviously totally irrational… But I knew this and controlled it the best I could…. Those we have are more precious than ever 💙💔

I know, you think you did something wrong… You must have done something wrong… Otherwise why would this happen to you….. Right?

You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, you did the most important thing for your child which was to be their mummy, show them what love is, hold them, comfort them and so much more…

The thing you have to do for your child now is live your life take them on the journey with you, as they remain in your mind and heart…

Strength from within 💙💔

I got lots of photos developed after loosing owain, and I also had handprints and footprints made at the hospital….

These are items I will treasure forever….. As the years have passed I worried that these photos prints will deteriorate….

I had the prints tattooed on me due to this fear….. I’m not saying go out there and get a tattoo but what I’m saying is…..

Do what feels right…. Its your life your grief and whatever makes you feel better do it 💙💔