Share what you know about the year you were born.

I fod yn honest, wyddwn i ddim am flwyddyn  fy ngeni. Gwn fy mod y trydydd plentyn i Mam a Dad, a doedd fy ddechreuad ddim yn un hawdd, efo gorfod cael transfusion yn syth.

Er hyny dwin falch iawn or flwyddyn hono, falch o fod yma, a mwyaf oll falch o fod wedi cael y dechreuad cefais yn bywyd.

Omg….. Do you know in my head everyone is saying horrible things, but then part of me thinks if they are, then its cause they dont know me.

Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.

One day i hope people will realise im a loner from choice, not snobery nor because its what i like. Its purely  because i cant risk myself on any more people, i have been hurt by the closest, strangers and more and i cant take any more of it. So i keep my circle small to save nobody but my family and i.

I hope one day that people will say, i was a good woman, and if they dont, well i wont be here to hear it so really, who cares.

My family is my everything, as long as they are ok, then i will have done something right.

I love deeply, and if you make the inner circle, then know that you are extremely lucky, but know also that you are a person i trust with my heart ❤️

What could you do less of?

This is something I do constantly…..

Somethings are instilled,  behaviours that have been created from a very young age. 

Why dont you stop then, i hear you say…..

Is it a bad thing?

The day i stop worrying what others think, is the day i dont care…….

I will leave that with you….

I would certainly prefer to be the way i am, than so closed off that i care for nothing….

Are you more of a night or morning person?

I really can not just fall asleep, I admire people who can.

Instead every night I read, colour or watch telly until I can do no more.

That’s the point I put everything away and go to sleep.😴

Name your top three pet peeves.

I had a giggle when I read this prompt…..then I immediately thought gosh how does a menopausal woman decide on just three 😂😂

Here it goes….

1. Insensitive people
2. Rudeness….the simple please and thanks…. Costs nothing
3. People using phones whilst driving…. Life is far too precious for needless accidents, the texts and calls can wait.

What are your favorite animals?

The Elephant has always been my favourite animal, ever since I was small I was intrigued be the sheer magnitude of them.

They stood tall and firm, but appeared quiet and layed back. Their skin tells a story, pretty much like mine.

Though I do refer to my markings being tiger stripes! But what I do know….. just like the elephant I have earned all my battle scars and markings. Each one tells a story.

Beach or mountains? Which do you prefer? Why?

There is something about looking into the distance, not knowing what’s at the end….. Pretty much like life really, it’s probably best we don’t know what’s ahead sometimes. The beach is where i feel at one with nature, the shapes, colours, sounds are all encompassing 🥰

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

I guess the past does pull me a lot as I never want to go forward without you.

But I have learnt also that acceptance of both your loss and the new imperfect me was key to the future.

I strive to be the best I can be, I chose life when times were hard, I’m glad I did. I have achieved and continue to achieve in this thing called life.  I am so proud of all that I am, my family and mostly proud to be a mum to you Owain , a tiny baby angel I never met and Gwion, Beca and Tyler 💔💗

What is life without looking to the future, keep moving forward but not forgetting who we are and where we have been. I wear my tiger stripes with pride 🐯

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

The one thing about myself that I would change is the way I think. Believe me it isn’t how I want to think, and its not like I haven’t tried to change it…..

Imagine going about your daily life just like everyone else, but you over notice or over analyse everything.

You see someone struggle you want to help…

You see someone fall… Omg they are going to die?

You see someone sleeping…. Omg are they breathing?

You get angry when you feel people are not listening too your concerns, or you think they aren’t putting enough thought into their actions….

You see for them it’s an easy thing to put themselves first, to go and do what they want without a thought. For me…. Its can I, what if, how, no I can’t,. Might need to do something else, can’t be selfish people need me…..

Im exhausted from thinking, I’m exhausted living this daily battle with my mind rationalising every single thought, feeling, action.

Am I normal, God damn it yes I am!

Am I crazy? No I’m not, because I know why I do what I do, and know how to talk myself out of the overthinking.

What is crazy is the perception of those who just don’t understand, and lucky for them they never will 🤔