Today we had a event at the school, my daughter was meeting me there….

I asked her to sit on the edge with empty seat by the back where I could see her when igot there….

Typical teenager, she did her own thing sat with her mates 😁

In the ten minutes of looking texting and trying not to draw attention to myself….

She had gone…

Someone took her….

I was cold and figity with fear….

Obviously totally irrational… But I knew this and controlled it the best I could…. Those we have are more precious than ever 💙💔

I know, you think you did something wrong… You must have done something wrong… Otherwise why would this happen to you….. Right?

You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, you did the most important thing for your child which was to be their mummy, show them what love is, hold them, comfort them and so much more…

The thing you have to do for your child now is live your life take them on the journey with you, as they remain in your mind and heart…

Strength from within 💙💔

I got lots of photos developed after loosing owain, and I also had handprints and footprints made at the hospital….

These are items I will treasure forever….. As the years have passed I worried that these photos prints will deteriorate….

I had the prints tattooed on me due to this fear….. I’m not saying go out there and get a tattoo but what I’m saying is…..

Do what feels right…. Its your life your grief and whatever makes you feel better do it 💙💔

You will blame yourself…. No matter what the situation, what the circumstance you will blame yourself.

The truth is it wasn’t your fault there’s nothing you could have done…. The world works in mysterious ways and this is the path we were given.

You loved your child you held them tight, but they weren’t ours to keep… Why we will never know.

Put your self blame aside and hold your head up high…. You are a fighter and a survivor 💙💔

You may feel like this during periods of grief, I most certainly did and still do sometimes…..

You see in the social setting after loss your mind wanders, you feel like there’s something missing, something you forgot to do…..

You sometimes wish someone would just talk to you…. Or you say to yourself… please don’t look at me as I don’t want to talk.

These emotions are normal and very real… This is because you’ve lost yourself, your focus has been on something else for so long you dont know who you are anymore…

You must continue to put yourself out there its the only way these feelings will slowly go away 💙💔

This is the one thing I have failed to do since loosing my little boy…..

I really wish I could, but something stops me…… What stops me is not knowing who I am… Scared of what may happen….

That a doesnt mean I don’t enjoy myself….. I love to see others enjoying themselves and love to laugh with my friends, I may be th quiet one… But I do enjoy good times…..

You can too…. 💙💔

Make yourself a memory box, you may think you don’t want one at first…..

I wasn’t sure at first…. Thought it would upset me too much, putting his precious items in a box, it didn’t seem adequate just a box!

It made me cry every time I opened it….

Now I find comfort in looking through it…. It makes me smile, laugh and cry but its my boy’s life story in a box….. Each item has a story……, the good the bad and the ugly… But I couldnt be without it. How can so little mean so much……. 💙💔

You’ve experienced the worst thing possible, and you wish you were stronger…. Really?

You are strong, you’re the strongest you have ever been if only you could see it. The strength of a grieving parent is a strength beyond no other…

Make this your motivation for life…. You are unstoppable, you’ve experienced the worst… The positive to that is that it can’t get any worse…. No future challenge will be as bad…. You can face anything this world throws at you…… 💙💔

I was asked today by a friend if the blog made me feel better….

This isn’t for me, I remember googling silly things to look for help after loosing my precious boy…

It feels like your alone….

But I assure you its shocking how many parents have gone through what we have been through…. But your not alone.

If this blogs helps ond person then this blog will have been worthwhile…… That itself will make me feel better 💙💔

You’ve heard it all………

Give it time…

Things will get better….

Times a great healer…..

If your starting on your journey you will think no… Never….. As if…… I thought that too.

I promise you this….

Give it time as you will slowly find new ways of dealing with you loss…

Things will get better, yes if you allow it too, don’t feel bad for being happy and rebuilding your life… Have no regrets.

Times a great healer…. No you are the healer when you feel like building yourself back up do it… Brick by brick one step at a time embrace the new you…. 💙💔