It’s hurts to see others upset, why I hear you say..Well when you know how much things hurt you, and know what it’s like to feel rock bottom, you would do anything to take their pain away.There are people who are mean to others intentionally, and then there are those who take action and don’t think how their actions will affect others, and some are oblivious to everything….Keep talking, don’t be afraid to tell someone they hurt you, and more than anything don’t let it build into a storm. It’s easier to wipe a tear than swim through an ocean ❤️💙💔

I’m actually sat here anxious about not having any work for 3 days this week……

Do you know why I’m anxious

It’s because I will have to be in my own company…

I will over think, be lost…..

This is one of my weaknesses, this is because I went from being in a family to being on my own when my world fell apart. I wasn’t good on my own then.

But I’ve changed I’ve grown and I’m me, the new me… So I’m going to embrace, enjoy and keep myself busy 👌💙💔

Today was the last day of the internship…. I’ve always been scared of change, more so after loosing my boy which was the biggest change I have ever faced.

But now and again it’s good to push yourself to try new things…. I made a change, gave up my work where I was comfortable to do my degree and start a new chapter.

The saying goes…..

As one door closes another one opens

Well it did for me, go for it!!!!!

So in 2 weeks I start my 2nd year at uni. Who would have thought that I could turn my life around.

I lost myself, but I have embraced the new me, slightly damaged, but striving to be the best I can be….

Don’t let grief define you, live life, have no regrets…. And make them proud ❤️💙💔

If your a parent who has experienced the loss of a child, your emotions will be in tatters this week….

To be honest all parents are feeling it this week, so your not being irrational.

It is hard handing the responsibility of your child to a childminder, nursery, school or even into the big wide world.

You can’t avoid it, you have done all you can, it’s now time for them to discover for themselves, yes there are risks, but the risks are there when they are with you too.

Give them a big hug and kiss and wish them good luck….. And enjoy those moments when they come back to you squeeze you harder than usual and tell you they missed you 💙💔

With this I share a pick of my two 6 years ago 😂

There are differing versions of love….really I hear you say!?

Yes, there is the love you give to friends, love you have for family, the unconditional love you get from your children and the love you have for material things or places..

As a grieving parent I longed to be loved, but was too blind to see all the love around me. This could have been people asking how I was, giving me a sympathetic look, avoiding me, or even saying the total wrong thing.

They did those things because they loved me…. If you are experiencing grief just take a moment now and again to absorb the love of those that are around you helping in their own little way showing you that they love you, because at times what you need is right there, but you don’t always recognise it. 💙💔

You may capture a glimpse of a parent and child doing the simplest of things and just smile and admire or even feel sad……

This is because you know more than them probably, how precious their moment is….

They are the moments we want…..its natural to admire, absorb, or even feel jealous…..

For we aren’t as fortunate as those standing in front of us 💙💔

It’s about acceptance I guess….

Accepting the new slightly damaged me, accepting that people will always on occasion only know me as ‘the one who lost the baby’, accepting that life will always be that little bit different, accepting that you have a child for who time stood still, accepting each occasion no matter how happy the occasion has a little something missing…… But most of all accepting help, comfort, understanding….. Leading to accepting me. 💔💙

I cuddled your blanket today, and 19 years on its still yours, still your smell still you.

This blanket has been a major comfort to me over the years…..

You may have only been here for 6 weeks, but your memory lives on in everyone who loved you 💙💔

I learnt a lot today…. I sat in a bus stop for 30 minutes, and observed.

People don’t have labels, but some people clearly have daily struggles.

But in a bus stop you see moments, kindness, frustration, love, hate, laziness, pleasantness all sorts of emotions, people of all ages, shapes and sizes.

But most of all in a bus stop your not alone, and actually it’s not a bad place to be. 💙💔