You may feel like this during periods of grief, I most certainly did and still do sometimes…..

You see in the social setting after loss your mind wanders, you feel like there’s something missing, something you forgot to do…..

You sometimes wish someone would just talk to you…. Or you say to yourself… please don’t look at me as I don’t want to talk.

These emotions are normal and very real… This is because you’ve lost yourself, your focus has been on something else for so long you dont know who you are anymore…

You must continue to put yourself out there its the only way these feelings will slowly go away 💙💔

This is the one thing I have failed to do since loosing my little boy…..

I really wish I could, but something stops me…… What stops me is not knowing who I am… Scared of what may happen….

That a doesnt mean I don’t enjoy myself….. I love to see others enjoying themselves and love to laugh with my friends, I may be th quiet one… But I do enjoy good times…..

You can too…. 💙💔

Make yourself a memory box, you may think you don’t want one at first…..

I wasn’t sure at first…. Thought it would upset me too much, putting his precious items in a box, it didn’t seem adequate just a box!

It made me cry every time I opened it….

Now I find comfort in looking through it…. It makes me smile, laugh and cry but its my boy’s life story in a box….. Each item has a story……, the good the bad and the ugly… But I couldnt be without it. How can so little mean so much……. 💙💔

You’ve experienced the worst thing possible, and you wish you were stronger…. Really?

You are strong, you’re the strongest you have ever been if only you could see it. The strength of a grieving parent is a strength beyond no other…

Make this your motivation for life…. You are unstoppable, you’ve experienced the worst… The positive to that is that it can’t get any worse…. No future challenge will be as bad…. You can face anything this world throws at you…… 💙💔

I was asked today by a friend if the blog made me feel better….

This isn’t for me, I remember googling silly things to look for help after loosing my precious boy…

It feels like your alone….

But I assure you its shocking how many parents have gone through what we have been through…. But your not alone.

If this blogs helps ond person then this blog will have been worthwhile…… That itself will make me feel better 💙💔

You’ve heard it all………

Give it time…

Things will get better….

Times a great healer…..

If your starting on your journey you will think no… Never….. As if…… I thought that too.

I promise you this….

Give it time as you will slowly find new ways of dealing with you loss…

Things will get better, yes if you allow it too, don’t feel bad for being happy and rebuilding your life… Have no regrets.

Times a great healer…. No you are the healer when you feel like building yourself back up do it… Brick by brick one step at a time embrace the new you…. 💙💔

You just want someone to love you…..

I know I felt the same…. Although I had people who loved me it wasn’t enough…. What I wanted was the impossible… The love of the boy I had lost.

So you continue on your journey numb to the love around you on a quest to be loved….. And what a quest it was!

So you find someone who cares for you, holds you, supports you while you build yourself back together again…. But there’s still a missing piece.

This missing piece isn’t ever found however all the other pieces hold you together, acceptance of the missing piece is your ticket to living 💙💔

Something that hit me when I lost my son was, that I only had a few friends….

At the time I felt so alone….

I had thrown myself into work in the hotel industry and was not one for socialising….

I don’t have many friends these days either, and tend to live my life in my own little bubble..

But the friends I have I cherish and although we don’t see each other every day we know we are there for each other.

It’s not the quantity of friends it’s the quality….. Keep them close 💙💔

I don’t want to go anywhere without my kids….. But every day I go somewhere without my precious boy.

I went to see my niece perform tonight…. I wonder whether her and my boy would have been close. I wonder what would my boy be doing now, what would his interests be…..

I take pride in everything my kids, nieces and nephews do….. they make me smile…they give me love, the pure kind…. Unconditional💙💔

Null and void……. Explains pretty much where I’m at today….. Its been a heavy two weeks with exams in uni work and family life.

It’s my dad’s anniversary today and I just know he is with my baby boy somewhere… Looking after him for me.

Kept myself busy today so that I wasn’t over thinking, this seems to be my go to tactic. Totally moved the furniture in the lounge this afternoon…. Feels better now. 💙💔