People may think I’m too open, share to much, say too much or just don’t keep anything private..

Well I’m trying to do something that breaks the norm…..

Im being open and honest, talking about my feelings and sharing my thoughts. Far too many people suffer in silence every day, lives are lost and harm is done, all because people feel they will be judged if they speak out.

It’s good to talk and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise……. There’s no shame in talking, you may see that people appreciate your honesty, those people are the best!!! 👌❤️💙💔

My heart could burst with pride….

Today my son got his first set of GCSE results from his year 10 exams.

Im proud of how conciencious he is, his thoughts and sensitivity. He is striving to be the best he can be, and I couldn’t be prouder. He did well and I’m proud.

Of course at one point my mind did wonder, and I thought to myself… This is another thing I missed out on with my eldest, but I’m sure he would have done me proud too.

There will always be moments they enter your mind, as they are always with you ❤️💙💔

It breaks my heart, I feel deeper.

I wonder if people realise what detrimental effect they have when they are being negative towards me.

I know that I should just rise above…..

But on occasion I just can’t, and it takes me a while to process it, but during me processing it, it really hurts.

Nobody knows what battles people are facing so just be kind…..

Luckily over time I have learnt to deal with my emotions again, but that doesn’t mean its easy. 💙💔

I worry all the time about the past determining my future…

Im proud of who I am today, I’m a mum, a Foster parent, I have good qualifications and am undertaking a degree to further enhance my prospects.

I was in the hotel industry when I lost my boy, working all the time day and night….. It certainly showed me there was more to life.

When I was ready to work again a kind gentleman offered me some work, without that opportunity I wouldn’t be where I am today 💙💔

As the years pass by and the kids get older, it brings with it a new worry. You worry where they are, with who and whether they are safe. In the midst of all of this you have to apply an element of trust and hope that your advice over the years has not been ignored.

They have a life to live and experience to gain. I only hope they stay safe on their journey… And remember I’m always here for advice.

Loosing my eldest has shown me how precious life is, and how it can be taken away in a blink of an eye and your world torn apart.

My advice… Don’t go to bed on an argument, even if you have had the worst day, kiss them and tell them you love them every night. When you leave the house tell them you love them, for tomorrow is not promised to any of us and every day is a gift. ❤️💙💔

Sometimes you just need support… Doesn’t mean your failing, or that your doing things wrong…

Everybody at some point in their life needs support… The only thing asking for help does, is show that your human.

Don’t punish yourself… Cause your the same as everyone else ❤️💔💙

So yesterday wasn’t a good day, but that hasn’t stopped me (nothing specific just wasn’t right and was a bit out of sorts) we all gave them…

So positive pants are on…..

Today is another day, I have a beautiful family, love in my heart and the future awaits 😁👖❤️💔💙

I felt you grow inside me,

Felt every kick and move

Through all the pain and worry

I just wanted you here with me

You entered the world to meet us

Nurses specialists too

They were ready to support you

But there was no needing in you

You were a happy baby boy

You didnt seem to be in pain

Or need any assistance at all

So we started on our journey

And took you to our home

The medicine would keep you safe

Until the doctors saw you again

We settled in to family life

And got into routine

You even smiled at tigger

Before you went away…….

There are moments that you worry that what you have been through has had a negative affect on your children.

Well I can honestly say tonight it’s not the case, and being exposed to emotions can make you relate with others……. I can’t give you the details (cause he wouldn’t be happy) but tonight my 15 year old boy showed me that he is a really thoughtful person, and not in a bad way.

When you feel for other people there is goodness in your heart… Don’t change ❤️💔💙

You have experienced grief, you have changed…. Some things you loved doing before don’t suit you anymore. Things you hated doing may be something you like to do.

There are no rules to grief, so apply trial and error. Try something if its not for you anymore park it up, if it is for you enjoy the experience and add it to your list of likes.

I lost myself and my confidence, where I used to go shopping or out for a drink on my own. This no longer felt right, so I had changed. Now I always go with someone when I can and share the experience ❤️💙💔